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Title : Tips Today Are Creature Crackers Paleo?
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Tips Today Are Creature Crackers Paleo?

Warning -- Satire -- Apr Fool's Post

Every kid loves creature crackers, those sweetness too crunchy animal-shaped biscuits.  But are they compatible amongst a Paleo diet?  Some people mightiness intend they already know the answer, precisely see this: our ancestors evolved on the African savanna, eating the plants too animals constitute there.  Inside each box of creature crackers is an assortment of tiny savanna creatures such every bit giraffes too elephants.

To become to the bottom of this, I interviewed Robert Pearson, CEO of Animal Cracker Products Inc., who explained to me how these crackers are made.

What's the history of creature crackers?

In 19th century Britain, a clever entrepreneur had the thought to brand animal-shaped sweetness biscuit snacks.  These became therefore pop that they were eventually exported to the US.  Manufacturers eventually began producing them domestically.  Today, Animal Cracker Products Inc. shares the U.S. of A. of America marketplace position amongst Nabisco, Keebler, too Stauffer, precisely our cracker is the exclusively i that's nevertheless made from 100 pct animals-- the other products are upwardly to xxx pct filler.

 Can you lot explicate how creature crackers are made?

The details are proprietary, precisely here's the full general process.  First, nosotros conduct keep babe animals too seat them inwards a especial patented press.  We utilize high pressure level for 17 hours, until they're apartment too reduced inwards size.  We therefore dry out them inwards the California Sun for i week, which produces the feature texture too beige color. 

How arrive at you lot pick out which animals to include?

Our mind marketplace position is children.  Focus groups conduct keep shown that children prefer crackers made from giraffes, elephants, too tigers to warthogs, opossums, too sloths. 

We besides pick out animals that permit us to create a production at a reasonable toll point.  People honey African savanna animals precisely they're expensive, therefore nosotros mix them amongst less expensive animals similar horses, bears, too sheep.  If there's plenty involvement inwards the Paleo community, nosotros would see making an all-African cracker mix, precisely the cost would last 50-70 pct higher. 

Thanks for your fourth dimension Robert!

Tiny animals?  What could last to a greater extent than Paleo than that??

Apr fools!

Photo credit: S. Diddy (Flickr CC).

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